I first learned about Phil Simmons in January 2001 when the courier delivered a copy of Learning to Fall: The Blessings of an Imperfect Life to my door, together with an invitation from the author to participate in a seminar on ‘Healing’ that he had been invited to give at Harvard Medical School. I read the first lines of the Foreword and I was ‘hooked’! A vigorous exchange of emails and several telephone chats later, we met, already old friends. Knowing Phil over the 16 months leading to his death in July 2002 was an intoxicating dance, a privilege, a great gift.

Three decades of caring for the dying, a research interest in the determinants of suffering and quality of life, and two personal encounters with cancer had sharpened my interest in how we find meaning and a sense of wholeness in the face of life’s inevitable challenges. In Phil I had found a fellow traveler of incomparable grace and lightness, a teacher of great wisdom. A gifted writer and critical thinker facing the trials of Lou Gehrig’s disease, Phil had something important to say!

Recognizing his stature as a teacher, I suggested to Phil that we film the Harvard seminar and in addition the journey that lay before him. He agreed to both suggestions, but with the condition that the latter must not be “yet another film about a nice guy dying”. Garry Beitel was a natural choice as the filmmaker. I had long admired the sensitivity and insight of his work and was delighted when Beitel/Lazar Productions agreed to sign on in spite of the lack of adequate funding. Dean Fuks of the Faculty of Medicine at McGill offered university support in making the film. Following the first weekend ‘shoot’ in Center Sandwich all involved were committed to a leap of faith, with or without funding, spurred on by Phil’s unique charisma and the richness of his vitality in living!

If it is to occur at all, each of us is responsible for the unfolding of our own healing. Each of us must take the leap of faith that enables the move from head to heart. Each of us must ‘learn to fall’, and in the falling sufferer and care provider discover that healing is a two way street. Both are at best wounded healers, both may experience a move toward a greater sense of integrity and wholeness and recognition that in giving we receive.

Balfour M. Mount MD
Eric M. Flanders Professor of Palliative Medicine, McGill University